Do you want to really know how I’m feeling?
Why don’t you shut up and listen, and you will understand my frustration.
I have vicariously watched so many of my friends graduate from university this year. I have seen so many of them get jobs in career fields they enjoy and will likely continue to move forward in that area for a long while.
My younger sister has a job that pays better than anything I have ever done.
I couldn’t handle working here. I couldn’t handle working there. I was weak and childish and thought that I could keep skipping jobs because I firmly believed I couldn’t waste my time being unhappy somewhere.
Well the reality is that I’m not that fortunate.
Do you understand how much of a failure I think I am?
In the past month, I have applied to more than 20 jobs, interviewed for maybe half, and turned down for all of them.
Three of the jobs I thought I had a really good chance at, I get pushed aside because someone else is better suited.
I am a failure.
And even now, right now when I am waiting for that call to please just hire me… I am being pitted against somebody who has no merit, but is simply the manager’s best friend who needs a job.
I have nothing left in me that wants to continue looking for anything constructive anymore.
I’ve worn out to the most bare minimum I have ever felt to be, and YOU don’t think I understand “frustration”.
If there was ever a chance I missed out on to be a better person, I so very much regret not taking that chance.
I’m a fucking rock. Dull. Kicked around.